Things were at their worst at home.  I can remember feeling that I didn’t want my then husband to see me happy for reasons like: he’d take credit for it, he’d think everything was ok, he’d take it as whatever “sign” he wanted to attribute to it.  For a long time I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me happy.  That’s how crazy my life had become because alcoholism pervaded our household.  That’s how warped my thinking was; “Don’t let him see you happy.  He might get the wrong impression”. But the most poignant thing happened one ...